crack!comicks

 

 

THE CRACK - EDITION THREE

 

1) Was that Commander Straker's real hair on UFO?

GM - I WANT TO BELIEVE IT WAS.

2) More scenes of people eating please. Also it makes sense that
Tex Porneau would become a director -- who digitized his genitalia? Was he born that way or was it a freak accident? Are the bits simply moving too fast for the comic-book eye to register? Either way, it looks unlikely that with that smooth blur between his legs his sex life would make Herrdoktoren Freud und Reich too happy, but at least he can sublimate the urge through turning it into porn.

GM - HE'S THE WORLD'S FIRST LIVING HUMAN WITH DIGITIZED GENITALS. AFTER SEEING IT ON TV SO OFTEN I THINK IT'S INEVITABLE THAT BLURRED AND PIXILLATED GENITALS WILL BECOME THE NEW FETISH CRAZE.

The problem of course is when Klingsor gets violent.

GM -
AH, BUT IT'S ALL STILL ALL AN ILLUSION. YOU CAN TELL BECAUSE THE FLOWERS ALL SMELL OF JOBBIES, LIKE THOSE ONES IN SOUTH AMERICA.

Congratulations on your film debut,


GM - THANKS, ROBERT.  IT'S HALLOWE'EN TODAY AND I'M TAKING A BREAK FROM WRITING THE SLEEPLESS KNIGHTS SCRIPT TO DO THIS. I HOPE IT GETS MADE BECAUSE IF IT DOES, IT'LL BE ON TELLY EVERY OCTOBER 31st FOR THE REST OF OUR MISERABLE LIVES.



3) To The Filthables:

   I've been a big fan of Grant's ever since I took it upon myself to pick up an "intellectual" comic and bought, "Invisibles" #1, Vol. 1.  To this day, I refer to that series as the best comic I never quite understood.  It was always a joy to get the next issue as it would explain something from the previous one.  It was also tortuous.  No sooner had my "A-Ha!" moment arrived, a "But..." would hastily shove it aside.


GM - AH, HOW LIKE LIFE!  

HI, DAN!

   So when the Invisibles was over, I started to pick up some of those "super-team" books Grant's been doing as well.  I figured, perhaps they would be understandable where others were not.  Calooh-Callay!  They were.  And my one comment on those is, as a Batman fan, it was nice to see that he could do-in pretty much anyone else in the D.C. universe should the need arise.

GM - HE'S A HARD MOTHERFUCKER AND NO MISTAKE AND VERY GENEROUS TO HIS MATES.  HE USED TO BUY ME VODKA AND ORANGE WHILE I WAS WORKING ON JUSTICE LEAGUE AND HE ALWAYS REMEMBERED I WAS PARTIAL TO A 'PINK BUN' (WHICH SAFEWAY NO LONGER STOCK).

   Now, "the Filth."  I love this comic.  Maybe it’s because I'm older.  Maybe because I earned a Master's in English (I doubt that.).  Maybe it truly is simpler.  I get it though.  There's certainly some strange stuff happening, but after that "Wha?" feeling, I still feel like I'm on the same wavelength.  Then I also like going into the comic store and asking for "Grant Morrison's Filth" as if it weren't a comic and then asking if there is any more "filth" I might partake of.

GM - I LEFT SCHOOL AT 18. NOBODY SHOULD NEED A MASTER'S DEGREE TO UNDERSTAND ANY COMIC BOOK WRITTEN BY A WORKING CLASS DOLE BUM.

   And bringing us nearest to the present, we have "Pornomancer."  Cheerfully said to be "Filth-ier" than usual by the comic shop proprietor.  I say, Kudos!"  Of course, the story was excellent, but now I can claim to be researching my favorite comic when I look at internet porn.  I do have to ask: Considering the porn theme of issue 5, did you realize you were making an awful pun when Officer Jones shouts, "Hand Assist!"  Anyway, I thought it was funny, either way.

GM - 'HAND ASSIST' WAS AS DELIBERATE AS YOU MIGHT IMAGINE.

   Hey, I'm on the internet now, I think I'll...

                                                               Dan "The Hawkman"



4) Is there going to be any news about Grant publishing any of his prose projects anytime soon? "Lovely Biscuits" is supposed to be put out this year according to your site, but is that still happening? And what about "The If"?

GM - The If is still being written very slowly behind the scenes of all my other projects

THE REVISED EDITION OF LOVELY BISCUITS IS UNDER WAY - IN THE LO-FI WORLD OF THE SMALL PRESS, THINGS CAN TAKE A LITTLE LONGER THAN EXPECTED BUT IT'S ON ITS WAY.

What makes Grant such a brilliant writer? Is it drugs, some sort of mental illness, magic, innate talent, selling his soul?

GM - I WAS INTRODUCED TO WRITING, FASHION AND MAGIC AT A VERY EARLY AGE. I WAS RECITING ROBERT BURNS POETRY WHEN I WAS EIGHTEEN MONTHS OLD, AND READING WHEN I WAS THREE. I'VE WANTED TO BE A WRITER SINCE I WAS SIX YEARS OLD AND I WROTE MY FIRST 'NOVEL' WHEN I WAS EIGHT - 'THE PEOPLE OF THE ASTEROIDS'. I SEEM TO HAVE BEEN BRED FOR THIS JOB.

DRUGS, MENTAL ILLNESS, MAGIC AND SELLING MY SOUL ALL CAME VERY MUCH LATER AND PROVIDED SOME GRIST FOR MY MILL BUT THE MILL WAS ALREADY WORKING FROM THE MOMENT I WAS BORN. I INTEND TO DIE CLUTCHING A PEN, WRITING IT ALL DOWN AS IT HAPPENS.


Is it true that Grant thinks all of his characters are real and he goes to other dimensions and visits them?

NJW

GM -
YES. BUT THE OTHER DIMENSION IS RIGHT HERE AND YOU CAN HOLD IT IN YOUR HANDS.  IT'S CALLED...THE SECOND DIMENSION.

TRY TO THINK OF IT THIS WAY - SUPERMAN, FOR INSTANCE, (OR BATMAN OR HULK OR ARCHIE ANDREWS) HAS  EXISTED FOR MANY DECADES LONGER THAN I HAVE. THERE IS A VERY GOOD POSSIBILITY THEY WILL OUTLIVE ME AS THEY HAVE NOW OUTLIVED THEIR ORIGINAL CREATORS. THEREFORE, I CONSIDER SUPERMAN 'REAL', IN THE SENSE THAT HE HAS A PERSONALITY, A MISSION, A STABLE FORM AND AN ONGOING 'LIFE' CREATED BY NUMEROUS IMAGINATIONS OVER THE LAST SEVENTY YEARS.  HE'S AN IMMORTAL, INVULNERABLE ARCHETYPE. MORE PEOPLE HAVE HEARD OF SUPERMAN THAN HAVE HEARD OF ME. IN ALL OF THESE WAYS, HE IS MORE 'REAL' THAN I AM.

AND AS I SAY, THE DIMENSION WHERE THESE WEIRD FICTIONAL PEOPLE LIVE OUT THEIR LIVES IS THE SECOND DIMENSION OF PAPER AND PRINT.  I GO INTO THE SECOND DIMENSION EVERY DAY TO DO MY JOB AND I INTERACT WITH THE BEINGS WHO LIVE THERE. AND REMEMBER, THESE ARE BEINGS WHO LIVED THERE LONG BEFORE I TURNED UP AND WHO WILL STILL LIVE THERE WHEN I'M GONE, SO THERE ARE CERTAIN RULES IN THESE LITTLE LIVING UNIVERSES  - YOU CAN'T JUST KILL SPIDER-MAN, FOR INSTANCE....

THANKS FOR A GOOD THOUGHT-PROVOKING LETTER NJW (New Jersey Wiccan? Nautical John Woo? New Job Writing?)



 
5) Hi Grant,

I can spend a million hours writing to tell you just how great of a writer I think you are, but I won't...cuz I've got to listen to my Kylie and Madonna (the new Bond song "Die Another Day" is absolute killer!).  I can't believe you wrote what you wrote about Kylie, though.  Are you human!?!

GM - BARELY. DENY IT IF YOU CAN, KYLIE IS VENTING SEX AT A DANGEROUS RATE.

I just want to say it simply that your writing is awesome! I started collecting X-Men in the early 90's.  Got so turned off by it, then got turned on by it again with your run.  Emma Frost is my favourite character.  Scott and Jean are next.  Angel is so fucking annoying!!! Xorn is cool.  I like the new girl with the butterfly wings.  Reminds me of something right out of She-Ra:  Princess of Power.  The Stepford Cuckoos are my fave mini-players.  Do you got plans for them? They're sooo cool.  What would happen if one of them died? Would that affect the rest of them severely? Dumb question, but I'm curious to know. They remind me so much of a dark V.C. Andrews "Flower in the Attic"-esque quality.


GM - >COUGH< ERR, NO IDEA >COUGH<.....

Anyways, enough rambling.  Do keep up the good work.  This "Attack on Weapon Plus" storyline sounds kick-ass! Where do you come up with all these cool titles? Is it true you're leaving after 150...please say it isn't so...I don't want to think of what a crappy writer would do with your foundation.


GM - THE TITLES SEEP OUT OF MY HEAD LIKE OIL, I HATE JUST DOING STUFF THAT'S SOME OLD SONG TITLE OR A QUOTE FROM A BOOK. THE WEAPON PLUS STUFF IS FULL-ON UBER-ACTION AND WEIRDNESS WITH SCOTT SUMMERS, FANTOMEX AND
LOGAN (IN BED).

BTW, what did you think of Joe Casey's run.  Looking at it in retrospect, he had some killer ideas.  Poptopia was a brilliant concept, but I think it just dragged on, and Mr. Clean was retarded.  But Sugar Kane and the entire idea of recycled pop, and creating an image was fascinating.

Ab. Velasco

www.spaceboimedia.com <http://www.spaceboimedia.com/>


GM - I AGREE. THE LATER ISSUES GOT BETTER AND BETTER. A LOT OF THE STUFF I PICKED UP FOR X-CORPORATION WAS AN ATTEMPT TO CONTINUE AND DEVELOP SOME OF JOE'S THEMES.

AND LET'S NOT FORGET THERE'S STILL 'WILDCATS' AND 'AUTOMATIC KAFKA' FOR JOE IN THE RAW. JOE AND I ARE ACTUALLY IN THE MIDDLE OF A PICTORIAL COLLABORATION 'JOE IN THE NUDE' - IT'S A BOOK OF CONVERSATIONS ABOUT COMICS THEORY, PRACTISE, HISTORY ETC IN WHICH JOE AND I APPEAR NAKED THROUGHOUT- IT'LL BE RELEASED SOMETIME NEXT YEAR BUT YOU'D HAVE TO ASK CASEY FOR THE DETAILS. 


6) Kristan and Grant

I've been meaning to finish a letter I was writing, but instead I decide to just write one right now (sorry it’s late-I'm tired).  I really liked how you ended the Cassandra series in new x-men (I've not read anything that good in awhile).  

GM - THANKS, DAVID. LOOK OUT FOR THE NEW 4 PART FRANK QUITELY ARC STARTING NEXT MONTH IN NEW X-MEN.

The Filth is very cool (why has it got to be only 13 issues? also couldn't Miami look a lot hotter? like tyra banks hot maybe?), I like:  the commie monkey, that bit about the idiotized agents being drawn away by early 90s techno, the covers, the psychedelic sex scene, secret original (man that’s a catchy name!), that’s all that comes to mind right now.

GM -
EVERYBODY IN THE FILTH IS SUPPOSED TO BE A LITTLE UGLY AND SMELLY.

I hope it’s alright if I ask questions now-I'll take that as a yes.
1.  I remember reading in Wizard (stopped buying it about six months ago-its not so great anymore-they put in previews for crappy comics that I'd never buy-anyways) a long time ago that you took the watchowski bros. to court for all of those ideas they stole from your stories,  what happened?  

GM -
THAT WAS ONLY A RUMOR. I LIKED THE MOVIE A LOT AND THEY SEEM LIKE GOOD GUYS SO THERE WAS NEVER ANY TRUTH TO THAT.

On a side note, I make it a point to point out to everyone that the matrix is an amalgamation of stolen ideas from my favorite writer grant morrison.

GM - I'D SAY A LOT OF THE STYLE AND APPROACH IS CLEARLY INSPIRED BY INVISIBLES.

I REPACKAGED GNOSTIC TRANSCENDENTALISM FOR AN AUDIENCE OF 20 - 30, 000 PER MONTH. THE WACHOWSKIS TOOK IT TO MILLIONS. A SMALL STEP FOR ME A GIANT LEAP FOR MANKIND.


2. Kristan is hot-sorry I thought I had more than one question (its
2:31 a.m. I'm tired).

 GM - HOT? SURFACE OF THE SUN.


this the part of the letter where I say some stuff about myself: I'm nineteen, I'm a full-time student at some community college, majoring in theatre (I want to act), and hope to go to Julliard and become a great actor.

GM - HERE'S A SIGIL TO HELP DAVID IN HIS QUEST TO BECOME A GREAT ACTOR. ANYONE WHO WISHES TO CHARGE IT FOR HIM IS FREE TO DO SO IN THE PREFERRED MANNER.



HOPE YOU REMEMBER US WHEN YOU'RE FAMOUS.

I'm also developing a comic of my own (that I'm drawing and writing down several ideas)-I just haven’t got any reason to start it and finish it though.

GM -
I KNOW THE FEELING. I COULDN'T FINISH ANYTHING UNTIL SOMEBODY ACTUALLY PAID ME TO DO IT.

I really like that two issue story arc you did in JLA entitled "IT"

GM - I LIKED THAT ONE TOO. THANKS.

thank you very much for your time you are definitely the best writer in the industry.

GM - THAT'S EVER SO KIND OF YOU TO SAY, DAVID. I COMPLETELY AGREE WITH YOU.

- david Estrada


 

7) Hello, Kristan and Morrison

I'm writing from Brasil, I live in
São Paulo. I found The Filth in a store that sell imported comics, which I don't usually buy, because of the price, but anyway, I had the money and I did it.


I really like Grant's writings, and of course I loved the Invisibles, etc, but I'm not writing this letter only to say how I admire your work, I have much important things to tell.

 

Well, I draw, and I'm making comics with my biggest friend, and it's too fucking hard to focus the ideas to do a comic, I'm completely confused. But you helped me with your little book Pop Magic, and I thought it was too amazing, and suddenly I could see everything, I was linked to the word, I noticed details that I haven't seen before, and it was so easy and pleasant. I read it yesterday, and I launched my first sigil at night, I was completely drunk because I met some friends in a bar, but I think that I did it.

Let's see.

I was living a sad and pathetic life, my drawing was completely repugnant, I didn't like anything, and i've been reading complicate stuff, and now I feel so light and ready to do anything I want, which means conclude the history.

Thanks for spreading your believes and being so optimistic about life, your work continues to inspire me more and more.

Ale (not Alex, I'm brazilian).

GM - HI ALE - SOUNDS LIKE A SATISIFIED CUSTOMER!

SIGILS ALWAYS WORK (AND THE FIRST OF SOME LONG-AWAITED NEW CHAPTERS OF POP MAGIC! OVER AT www.grant-morrison.com AS A SPECIAL X-MAS GIFT FOR ALL OUR READERS).


8) grant morrison>>>>>>>>>>>>>

do u think richey edwards disapearence an act of guerrilla ontology making his life seem like the fiction we believed "he "disappeared" like the scene at the end of powder powder" so he could express our/some peoples/my delusions about the nature of reality i don't think he disappeared i think he's alive physically


GM - I USED TO THINK THAT BUT NOW I MY GUT TELLS ME RICHIE ACTUALLY DID KILL HIMSELF. I IMAGINE HIM DOING IT WITH A COPY OF DOOM PATROL ROLLED UP IN HIS PVCs, NEXT TO HIS EYELINER - WALKING INTO THE SEA UNTIL IT CLOSES LIKE A GREEN LID OVER HIM. 4 UNREAL.

I HOPE I'M WRONG.

in a similar way as the nano bubble or mgick matter that will deliver us back to eden is scifi fiction expressing our subconscious beliefs as fiction hoping that people will become aware of the idea that that’s what they already believe they think they are god and everything including themselves is an illusion but its not we just have powerful imaginations and the only way top use them at the moment in sickness is to overload them with visual stimuli allowing us to metaprogramme and de imprint all the bull shit that ends us of into THE GREATEST CONSPIRACY OF ALL TIME  or should we say the greatest story of all time the one everyone believes the invisibles comes close to describing that belief please respond i need to know i'm not nuts and that i'm not the only one that sees trough these illusions we mostly live inside (our head's) i'm sick of believing i'm christ i want to be aware of the world without having to think intensely to scramble my programming is this the product of our belief in god our just a product of our beliefs in beliefs

GM -
YOU SOUND PRETTY FUCKING SANE TO ME BUT YOU COULD USE SOME PUNCTUATION.

YOU PROBABLY
NEED TO TAKE UP ZEN PRACTISE. THAT'S THE APPROPRIATE PRAXIS FOR THE COGNITIVE LEVEL YOU APPEAR TO HAVE REACHED. ZEN MEDITATION WILL PUT YOUR INSIGHTS AND UNDERSTANDING IN A NEW AND MORE USEFUL CONTEXT.

ZEN WILL GET YOU PAST THE ABYSS AND INTO THE MEMEPLEX.

does narcissus not see himself at all???????

GM - NARCISSUS SEES HIMSELF, FANCIES HIMSELF THEN GETS TRAPPED LOOKING AT THE BEAUTY AND HORROR OF HIS FACE AS IT AGES. THIS IS A GOOD METAPHOR FOR 'GOD' CONSCIOUSNESS EMBEDDED IN MATTER.

i just need to know someones got past saron whispering in our ear "you are so special u dont exist not in the 3rd dimension anyway"

got to go

please reply it will probably save my life

p.s. thanks for making me smarter

love
joe


GM - YOU'RE WELCOME.


9) yes i am the love glove, the one and only love glove

I’m not kiddin’ do you see me laughing?

i have arms by the way, it’s just that no one will ever see them cos they are ....disfigured.

The ex cloak of silence? very funny mr funny man.

i won’t talk to anyone about the dreams i have

and the dreams that have me

they get worse, last night i did such wonderfully awful things.

I like to dream a lot, I’m dreaming now.

Hull is a den of grey knobbed middens

you even knew my name was scottish didn’t you?

Carmicheal (as in Ian Carmicheal) is a scottish name?

Issue 49 was the first dp i ever picked up

and there i am in print!

do you know what that can do to a guy?

I managed to avoid being locked up for good

by the use of my logic glove.

Its all about onan isn’t it? the love glove is a euphenism?

yeah, all i can do is wank now my arms are so...disfigured.

bye (sorry about this e-mail, but it is a genuinely friendly relaying of facts concerning your psychic abilities and mine, did you dream me up?)

please don’t have me contained

send me a reply you lazy spunkard.(sorry)


GM - SPUNKARD ??? I DON'T SUPPOSE YOU'VE GOT ANY SPARE LOGIC GLOVES...

THE LOVE GLOVE, FUCK...THOSE WERE THE DAYS, AS ALL DAYS ARE IF WE LEAVE THEM BEHIND LONG ENOUGH...

 

10) mainly i'm interested in the pursuit of sensitizing the interface of my sense organs to the fractalized web of light that prevents the subject from stopping and the object from beginning, and of course trying to ejaculate just a little harder every..single..time (mind you, i am in fact cute enough to actually pull off an opening like that as an extension of cosmic romanticism)  i imagine i'm writing because it seems that you guys have interests in the same ballpark, and goddamn but is it hard to resist attempted communication with other people who seem to have cued into the wink-wink-nudge-nudge, that no matter what can never be confirmed if we're talking about the same wink or even a remotely similar nudge, and thank (my specifically programmed) God simulation: consciousness without object) for that!   of course it's all a bit of silliness to even bother speaking up and even bothering to get into the "i know that you know that I know...etc etc" especially considering to even get within a bulk of layers at what i'm efforting to transmit i have to straddle to line of complete gibberish and nagarginic gibberish, and for what reason!? to confirm the glow i can create, that doesn't need conformation so long as it still..feels..so..good, so i guess i'm writing for the most benificial reason of all, none at all!  for the fucking fun of it!  your writing didn't save my life, or coax me through my dark night of the soul and i don't think we're connected in any mysterious way beyond the way i'm connected to everything else or any other reason one may find it proper to gush words at a stranger, i'm just following the invisible pushpull of my isomorphic/synchronastic addicted bio computer!

GM -
SOUNDS GOOD TO ME. NICE TO HEAR FROM YOU.

in conclusion:  if you ever begin to watch it hurt again, remember, there's  a crop of 21 year old kid's just like me pumped full of magick/metaprogramming key strokes, digitally neurotransmitting beyond sirus, fucking beautiful girls on train tracks, and laughing so SO hard at the impermanence of it all!

GM -
YOU AND YOUR KIND ARE THE ONLY THING THAT KEEPS ME SLOSHING FORWARD THROUGH THE SILT OF TIME.

optional reality tunnel portals:

create significance out of a slight telepathic simulation occurring last may at the philly con.

thumbs up sir, and i again assure you i've the credentials to pull off this and well beyond.

assign significance to the phrase "it's happening again" and a -3 state of consciousness i'd other wise title "the first noble truth on crack"

pretend if we both had metadeja vu sychronicity ego crush visions that we had them "together" in a manner of speaking

or of course: go about your day and chalk this letter up as another satisfied customer!

and good gravy thank you so very much for reading this to begin with!

best wishes

RGC

for more samplings of what the next generation is coming with:

http://udel.edu/~rgc/argecyweb.html

the product i'm developing for MAPS:

http://udel.edu/~rgc/project38.html

after the burn, before the glow,

http://udel.edu/~rgc/public_html.html


GM - THERE'S ONLY ONE GENERATION. I'M GLAD TO SEE THAT IT NEVER DIES.


11) THE FILTH.  now, this is where it's at.

don't get me wrong, i've loved what i've read of the INVISIBLES so far (i'm currently working on obtaining the rest) and i am aching to finish it all.  it's all bright and pretty and mad as hell and gives me a hard-on the likes of which god has never seen.  and that, my friend, is where it falls short.  because i am not bright and pretty.  or not *that* bright and pretty, at any rate.  but THE FILTH, well, this is where THE INVISBLES goes to grow up, get fat, jerk-off, and die.   just like we all will.  THE INVISIBLES was a utopian planning engineer's wet-dream wrapped in something from Tokyo in all it's shiny pink and chrome glory, showing us that every word we ever heard, every thought we ever thunk, every scene we ever seen can be *used*, can be looked at in a way that will make it all make sense, so perfectly, so wonderfully, if we just fucking try.  or at least, that's what it's meant to me so far.

GM - EXACTLY. THE INVISIBLES IS AN INSPIRATI0NAL BOOK FOR SMART REBELLIOUS TEENAGERS AND THE VERY OPTIMISTIC. AND THE FILTH IS FOR GROWN-UPS, WHO KNOW THEY MUST WITHER AND DIE. THEM AND THE POST-OPTIMISTIC.

THE FILTH is one of those WORST-CASE SCENARIO HANDBOOKS.  "What to do in case of existing."  is there a coincidence in the fact that the covers look like safety procedure cards (and here i pat myself on the back like a grinning idiot that i figured that out all by myself, just now, as i was typing, while other readers picked it out after reading page one, issue one, but that's your damned gift, dr. morrison, the ability to make even the dumbest fucker feel like a world-class intellect by giving everyone something to puzzle out in the sheer volume of information that you and your comic cohorts pack into each and every lovingly handcrafted picture book)?  i think not, but even if it was it wasn't because every word we every heard, every thought we ever thunk, every scene we ever seen can be looked at in a way that makes it all make sense.

GM - I KNEW IT MADE SENSE TO SOMEONE!

you're teaching us all a lesson.  we learned part one:  What we could e.  Here's lesson two:  What we are.  so, not that i am ungrateful for the 9 or so more months of this lesson, but when's lesson three.  faster and faster we'll need this stuff, grant.  we'll be keeping up with you by lesson 6 or so, i'm sure.

--Eric


GM - THANKS ERIC - YOU GOT IT.

I'M ALREADY AT
WORK ON 'LESSON 3' STUFF, WHICH SHOULD START TO APPEAR IN THE FORM OF ‘INDESTRUCTIBLE MAN' IN 2003.  NOT SO MUCH LESSONS AS DISPATCHES FROM THE FRONT, WHICH ARE AS GOOD, I HOPE, SINCE WE ALL GET TO THE FRONT IN THE END...



12) I feel all sleazy and dorky at the same time like I’m being one of “those guys” at the comic convention by writing what I am about to write.  But, for some reason I think I’m different and special and better and on some sort of cosmic mission like I’m the next Buddha.  I admit I’ve read invisibles a few too many times.  now that I see that written, it does sorta look like your standard case of delusional megalomania, but I assure you that is not the case!!  (If you are actually interested, I can come up with some good (in my skewed opinion) evidence to support this hypothesis.)

GM - IF YOU'RE TURNING IT INTO ART, THAT'S THE
BEST WAY TO DEAL WITH IT. BUT IF YOUR THEORIES ARE CONVINCING AND ORIGINAL ENOUGH AND IF YOU'RE CHARISMATIC ENOUGH, YOU MIGHT BE ABLE TO START A RELIGION. THAT'S IF YOU CAN BE BOTHERED WITH THE HASSLE OF PEOPLE'S EXPECTATIONS.

Anyway, to get to the point, as you may or may have not guessed by this point, I am yet another schmuck with a great comic book idea who stupidly expects you (whomever actually reads this) to take time out of your busy schedule and help me, some crazy asshole who thinks he’s Jesus (not really), publish what is most likely very shitty little comic.  Ah, but as I said before, I’m different.  I’ll even one up those guys; they probably already have their comics ready to go so that you just have to publish them.  Or I’d imagine they at least have a script or two to show off.  I don’t even have that.  all I have is a few pages of notes typed into my computer and a fuckload of ideas.  Yes I said “fuckload”.


GM - BRILLIANT. NOW DEVELOP THOSE IDEAS AND LET US ALL READ 'EM. DUMP YOUR FUCKLOAD ON THE WORLD!

But at this point, I am not even going to tell you a thing about my ideas, save this. I am working on a comic series that at least in my mind (in my dreams!) will put me next in line to follow in the footsteps of Alan Moore and Grant Morrison in to the metaphysical side of comics.  I feel that this comic will be that damn good!  This thing is totally writing itself.   I could go into a big list here of all the crap I’ve read and start listing all my influences and all my current theories about how everything works, but don’t worry, I won’t.   But I will say this—I just finally got my nerve up to write this letter and I come here to find out that Grant has is own comic company.  Coincidence? I THINK NOT!

GM - SOUNDS GOOD BUT I DON'T HAVE MY OWN COMIC COMPANY UNFORTUNATELY OR I'D BE GLAD TO LOOK AT YOUR STUFF. CRACK COMICKS IS JUST AN UMBRELLA NAME FOR A BUNCH OF NEW AND ORIGINAL COMICS SERIES I'VE BEEN PREPARING FOR ESTABLISHED PUBLISHERS.

SEND YOUR STUFF TO THE ALREADY EXISTING COMIC BOOK COMPANIES. THE BIG TWO ARE BARELY RECRUITING AT ALL AT THE MOMENT BUT OPPORTUNITIES SHOULD ARISE OVER THE NEXT YEAR OR SO. HONE YOUR SKILLS, CREATE YOUR STUFF AND IF YOU'RE GOOD, AND PERSISTENT, YOU'LL MAKE IT.

I’m not going to share any more information for a reason.  You see, I have a proposal.  I would like you to help me in an experiment that will test just how crazy I am.  What I would like is for Grant to meditate, take some psychedelics, jerk off, or whatever he wants to do to get into a higher state of consciousness and ask the question of whether he is meant to help me out or not.  (Not whether I’m Buddha or anything.  I don’t really think that!)  I just want him to ask if the comic is “special” or something like that.  Hell, everyone else there who is into magic and the like could do it too.  That would be really cool.  Oh shit!  What would be fucking awesome is if this letter actually got posted and someone figured out a way to track the results of all the readers of the website, if they all asked the collective unconscious whether grant is supposed to help me or not!

GM - TRUST ME, WE COULD HAVE THOUSANDS JERKING OFF IF WE WANTED BUT IT STILL WOULDN'T TURN US INTO PUBLISHERS, SADLY.

This is all a lot to ask coming from some jerk off the internet.   But as I can’t state enough, I’m important.  I have a purpose.  Or I’m some poor bastard who let his overly inquisitive mind drive him off the deep end.  What better way to find out??  You be the judge. Literally!  I don’t really expect this thing to get read past the first line by anyone, much less Grant Morrison.  It won’t be a pleasant shock to know he even got that far.  

GM -
OF COURSE YOU'RE IMPORTANT AND HAVE A PURPOSE. WE ALL DO.

Thanks (a lot, I hope!!),


j

GM - YOU'RE WELCOME J STAY IN TOUCH AND LET US KNOW HOW THE WORK'S COMING ALONG.

 


13) I read The Filth 4 last week, and loved it. The monkey is brilliant, and it's amazing that with all the insane stuff going on, it's the human emotions that really get to me. Issue 3's cat burial sequence was beautiful, and particularly the opening of four was very entertaining. Still, that's not to discount the meat of the issue, which was a lot of fun. The structure is excellent, telling a strong relatively standalone story each month, while still progressing the story of Slade. It's the best monthly on the shelves right now.

 

Also read the second Animal Man volume, which was a lot of fun, and is making me anxious for the third one to be released. I love the gradual hints about the apparent breakdown of his reality, and it should be even better once I get the third trade.

Finally, just one question. I've noticed that you've never said anything about DC not reprinting your Doom Patrol run, even though there is a bunch of it that does not feature Flex Mentallo, and as far as I know, could legally be reprinted. Also, there was a fairly large wait for the final Invisibles trade, and the last Animal Man trade is still unreleased. As a creator, are you concerned about the reproduction of your work, or are you more writing it for yourself, and as long as it is out there in some form, you're happy. Or, are you unable to influence DC to collect the work in TPB form?

Thanks for your time,

Patrick


GM - HI PATRICK -

I WANT TO SEE IT ALL IN PRINT!

'FLEX MENTALLO' IS CLEVERER, FUNNIER AND MORE REALISTIC THAN 'WATCHMEN', 'DARK KNIGHT' AND 'MAUS' STAPLED TOGETHER.

SAY 9 OUT OF 10 CATS.
 


14) Hi there, K and G.  

Listen, I really need the two of you to answer a very important question for me.  How did the two of you get to be so damn sexy?  I mean, hey, I'm not gay, and I'm not hitting on your girlfriend, but I just finished reading the latest column over at the occasionally updated grant-morrison.com, and I couldn't help but notice the fact that both you (Grant) and Kristan (Kristan), manage to look so much better than 90 percent of people walking the streets these days.  I think when (if?) the Pop Magic column gets finished, you should write a companion column called Pop Sex, just to show us plebes how to tap into some of that energy.  Anyway, keep up the good work, I won't comment on The Filth just yet, because I own four issues but have only read two of them, so I can't pass a qualified judgement on them.  I will soon, though, probably by the time the fifth issue hits the stands.  Keep the minds of the masses properly boggled.

Regards,

Maclaine Diemer


GM - POP SEX? HMM.

REMEMBER ALEX AND MAXINE SANDERS, THE KING AND QUEEN OF THE WITCHES? THEY WERE ALWAYS GETTING THEIR ARSES OUT AROUND A BONFIRE FOR THE TABLOIDS - 'A BUM IN THE COVEN' KIND OF THING - AND I THINK THAT'S WHAT A LOT OF PEOPLE LIKE TO THINK OF WHEN THEY CONSIDER THE BLACK ARTS...

WATCH THIS SPACE AND www.grant-morrison.com FOR UPCOMING  MALARKEY ALONG THESE LINES, AS WE FIND NEW AND MORE DEADLY WAYS TO DISSEMINATE THE NIGHTMARISH  INFO-WEAPONRY OF 'THE OCCULT'.


15) Hello Kristan, Hello Grant.


The next time you are both in
Belfast and need late night potato sustenance I would recommend Esperanto on Botanic Avenue.  Fine food establishment, especially after a truckload of booze.  You have the added advantage of missing the Saturday night swedge-fest that is Shaftesbury Square. Hopefully the next time you are in Belfast I will actually be warned of your 'appearance'.

The Filth is fuckin' funny - no need to tell you to keep it up.

Graeme

GM -
THANKS. KEEPING IT UP FOR ONE MORE ISSUE THEN I'M WRAPPED. 13 SITS ON MY TABLE WAITING TO BE WRITTEN.

I WASN'T SO MUCH 'APPEARING' IN
BELFAST AS DRINKING AND TALKING.
 


16) grant morrison and Kristan are the same fucking person. it's a fact.


GM - DAMN! HOW DID THAT GET OUT?

BUT WHO IS THAT PERSON? WHO? WHO?

 

17) hi- does grant read Thomas Pynchon? and i mean Gravity's Rainbow and the longer novels, not those short sissy books.

erik


GM - HI - I READ GRAVITY'S RAINBOW AND V. ALSO THE CRYING OF LOT 49 BUT THAT WAS OVER TEN YEARS AGO I HAVEN'T REALLY READ MUCH FICTION SINCE THEN SO NONE OF HIS NEWER WORK.

I THINK THEY'D HAVE BEEN BETTER AS COMICS. THE DENSITY OF WORDS IS A LITTLE TOO MUCH FOR ME.

 


18) Hi Grant and Kristan, I'm a 25 years old italian Invisibles' reader and here are some strange occurrences I experienced reading the comic. In fall 2000 I started working in a project called "Ovo" for a new italian newsmagazine. During that period I was first involved in interests as maths, non Euclidean geometry and so forth, so the first article I wrote was about the forth dimension. For a second zero issue I traced some infos about memetics and I wrote about it, and you can imagine my wonder when, reading new (in
Italy!!) Invisibles' issues I found the same arguments! It seemed to me not just a coincidence, but like if I was walking a parallel path together with the comic. I get more and more involved with memetics and at the moment I think it could be a tool to evolve for us all...The other strange occurrence happened to me is that some things I wrote first happened then, just as Grant told happened to him with Invisibles...Is that some kind of memetic infection? Is that Magic? Or both of them? I'd like to know your opinion  about it and have some suggest on how to deal with that (I mean....Can I control more and more the things I write about?).

GM - YES. THERE SEEMS TO BE SOME CONNECTION BETWEEN WRITING SOMETHING IN A FERVID, HEIGHTENED STATE AND CAUSING THAT THING TO HAPPEN.  EVERY PIECE OF A HOLOGRAM CONTAINS ALL THE INFORMATION OF THE FULL HOLOGRAM.

I THINK MAGIC AND MEMETIC INFECTION (GREAT TERM) MAY OVERLAP DRAMATICALLY. THIS IS A TECHNOLOGY, SUPPRESSED FOR A COUPLE OF THOUSAND YEARS BY THE CHURCH AND THEN BY THE RATIONAL ENLIGHTENMENT, BUT TECHNOLOGY NEVERTHELESS; PERFECTLY FUNCTIONING AND STILL AVAILABLE TO ANYONE WHO CHOOSES TO PRESS THE BUTTONS.  IT'S EMERGING BACK INTO GLOBAL CONSCIOUSNESS NOW BECAUSE IT'S ABOUT TO BE NEEDED IN THIS MOST TURBULENT PHASE OF HUMAN DEVELOPMENT.

MAGIC IS ALSO A PROVEN WAY TO ORGANISE NON-ORDINARY EXPERIENCE. IN THE NEW UPCOMING PSYCHEDELIC WAVE, I SUGGEST IT SHOULD BE USED AS A DISCIPLINE WHICH ALLOWS US TO NAVIGATE THE BIZARRE ALIEN CONTACT SPACES OF THE TRYPTAMINE HALLUCINOGENS.

Last, another question. The project I'm working about is about a mainstream magazine for a big Italian press company, but the contents are very unusual, such as A.I, narrativity theory and all the stuff you could find in an Invisibles Issue or in the Underground web site. Do you have any suggestion for us on how to deal with the big press company and how to reach many and many readers?
I hope to hear from you soon
Ciao
Antonio

 

 

AS A FURTHER LOWERING OF THE TONE, ONTO A COUPLE OF E-ZINES...

 

GRANT MORRISON e-zine

http://dreamers.com/garabatos/fakzine.html

includes comic strips--

"SEXO con GRANT" (por Tanwer))
"I was a teenage Shoggoth"

etc.

 

(WITH THANKS TO JAY BABCOCK)


Spain - First e-fine about Grant Morrison

Web: http://dreamers.com/garabatos/fakzine.html

bye!!




20) GriKranstan - Double acts are always fun, aren't they? Kudos, Grant, for making your sig-other as much a part of the conspiracy as you are. Though I doubt you could have stopped her anyway, even if you wanted her to spend all her time working at the library, blissfully unaware of your secret, conformity-busting identity, like one of Batman's boring token girlfriends. At your age? With your reputation?

GM - I'VE ALWAYS PREFERRED THE STEED AND PEEL/DIABOLIK AND EVA/NOH-VARR AND OUBLIETTE DYNAMIC BETTER THAN THE JAMES BOND-AND-RANDOM-BIRD ONE, SO IT SUITS ME FINE.

So...The Filth. The readers' letters. Never wrote one to the Invisibles - no net until it ended, and I can't be arsed with transatlantic mail. I was thinking it would be cool if all the Filth letters were written in the style of those '"readers' letters" you always get in porn mags - you know, the ones allegedly written by a seventeen-year old student recounting her hot lesbo encounters on the French exchange program - but in a really sick style: gushing testimonies about our sexy romps with macro-mites, that sort of thing. But it's late, and I can't be bothered, and I've been caning my head with the net for two hours now. But one day, one day...


GM - I WAS ENJOYING THAT...

WRITE THAT LETTER PLEASE.

So...The Filth. Two issues in one go, bloody typical. 3 & 4 and the story's getting interesting. Dmitri is easily the best avatar of circuit two consciousness ever. ..Quite fantastic. And Ned's replacement Greg, slowly making all the neighbours convinced he's a paedo...Or so I thought, until I realised Greg was doing a good enough job of that himself, what with inviting the childlike shape of Dmitri indoors...But there's something up with Back-up Greg, isn't there? Something not right. Is he Spartacus Hughes, in disguise? Or some i-life creation?  Of course not. This is your British sci-fi, Century 21 series, isn't it? All stories self-contained. I-life'll wind up like all those cool ideas in Sapphire & Steel, insane conceptual threats created and discarded solely to support the idea of an hour-long tv drama. Fitting that, having spent so much time breathing new life into forgotten characters in Animal Man, JLA, and, lately, X-men (Unus, the untouchable man! Reich would have a field day...) you’ve decided to do the very comic-booky thing of setting up ideas and leaving them alone to be discovered, cosmic joker-style. I know I'm wrong, and it'll all be the twisted outcome of some sick fetish sequence between Secret Original and the Sharon Jones bio-ship in the end, but please leave us the Filth universe to play with, eh, Grant? After all, we all like to wallow in the muck from time to time...


GM - IT'S A LITTLE BIT OF BOTH. SOME IDEAS I LOVE TO JUST WASTE IN A PANEL, OTHERS I GO BACK TO LATER. I'VE ALWAYS BEEN THRILLED BY THE BRAVADO AND ALLURE OF COMIC CREATORS WHO THROW AWAY A THOUSAND IDEAS IN EVERY PANEL. THAT'S WHY I LOVE JACK KIRBY, PAT MILLS OR BRENDAN McCARTHY AND WHY I FIND SO MUCH OF THE CURRENT COMICS OUTPUT INCREDIBLY CONSERVATIVE AND MISERLY.    

THE UPCOMING LIBERTANIA STORY IN THE FILTH 7 AND 8 HAS LOTS OF STUFF
WHICH WOULD MAKE A BRILLIANT TWELVE ISSUE SERIES OR A MOVIE PITCH BUT IT'S ALL INTRODUCED AND DISCARDED IN A FEW PANELS. 'THE FILTH' IS GREG'S STORY.  EVERYTHING ELSE IS JUST THERE TO MAKE YOU FOCUS ON GREG AND TONY.

IN THE TV21 STYLE, OF COURSE. BACK WHEN 'CAPTAIN SCARLET' WAS BEING WRITTEN BY DENNIS POTTER...


So...The Filth. Issue four. Even better.  A shit connoisseur.  The desert of dead skin. And the awesome power of one man's tiny, pathetic love for his tiny, pathetic cat...That's you to a tee. It's the little things, as KM and Edith found out in the end. A man who loves his cat can't be all bad, can he? Even if he is a freaky policeman. And that may be the problem.

GM -
THAT'S LOVE FOR YOU. IT BREAKS THROUGH CONCRETE AND BLINDS THE SUN. AND THERE'S NOTHING MORE HUMAN THAN THE TOWERING, UNCONDITIONAL LOVE SOME PEOPLE HAVE FOR LITTLE ANIMALS AND GLASS CLOWNS.

So...The Filth. There's a tabloid beside me. The Star (a trump, debased). The usual rubbish - bikini-clad women, Nell McAndrew, Geri Halliwell, 'wife dumped me for lottery millionaress', and the strange flight of Michael Barrymore, the freakish anti-leprechaun of Strike it Lucky, leaving under a cloud at the end of his rainbow. Exile, perhaps - but silence and cunning? For a man whose catchphrase was 'awroight', and who told the police he couldn't swim when he has a swimming pool in his fucking garden, for Christ’s sake?  Good grief, I'm all excited now...But that's the point, isn't it? We all like a good, sordid, scandal, and this has it all: sex, drugs, anal rape, a soiled celebrity, and death. It's like James Ellroy, but somehow even more sordid for the transition from
Hollywood to Essex.  Lovely stuff. Best for wanking the outrage gland, eh? And meanwhile George Jr can go ahead with destroying the UN and no fucker'll notice. It's not that we think Barrymore's (and what an ill-stared name that is, from Lionel to Drew, then to Michael) more important than warfare - not really - we just can't help ourselves. We want something dirty. If Gulf War 2 was fought between sexy, effeminate US pop-pinup-wrestlers and sleazy Arab bears in a tub of crude oil, maybe then it'd have the right kind of sickness (and slickness) to sic us. But it won't, and it ain't.

So...The Filth.

Cheerio,

Adam Fish

GM - AND WHAT ABOUT ALL THIS FUCKING PURITAN WITCH HUNT AMBIENCE? COKE! HOOKERS! OH NO! WANKERS!

THANKS FOR A GOOD ONE TO END ON, ADAM.


AND AM I THE ONLY ONE WHO THINKS GULF WAR 2 SHOULD BE FOUGHT BETWEEN ANTS, GIANT, ROBOT OR OTHERWISE. ANY KIND OF ANT AT WAR REALLY...

   YOUR HOSTS FOR THIS EVENING, GRANT & KRISTAN, 1st December 2002.


 

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UPDATED : 25/05/2004